Generations of Wealthy Youth Protest in DC, Threats to Throw Designer Rocks and Spit Voss Prove to Be Just That

On the eve of a vote that may mark the reintroduction of the so-called Death Tax, tens of wealthy Americans gathered near the Capitol Rotunda waving signs and occasionally shouting phrases of indignation.

“We’re here, we own an étagère, get over it!” was heard all over DC as wealthy citizens gathered to protest the right to keep their parents’ money. “It’s my dad’s (money) and I want all 30 million (dollars) when he dies,” said one smartly dressed participant wearing a Skimmer hat, blue blazer and khakis. “I’m not above giving away a few bucks but I will give away my dad’s money when I want to. Besides, he got it (money) from his father who got it from his father and so on, and every time someone dies we gotta pay a tax. Damn you Congress. Damn You!”

Wearing some of the trendiest styles and colors of the season, protesters converged on Constitution Avenue before being escorted from their vehicles and into awaiting golf carts. A few decided to forgo the journey up Capitol Hill and instead paid a team of protest proxies bussed in for such a scenario.

Also in attendance was a large contingent of anti-wealthy protesters, their less-than-classy wardrobe a grotesque representation of middle class poverty. One anti-rich protester called the wealthy an abomination in the sight of Humanism. When asked for a possible solution, he tapped his bongos and led a chant of wordless sounds then yelled an expletive. He later returned to say, “I’m not here just for this (protest) man. I’m here because I can be. I got at least another year till my dad says I gotta find a job. Until then, these rich dead dudes better pay their taxes!”

At times the protest took on the look and feel of Vietnam anti-war protest marches with the shouts of slogans like, “Hell no! We won’t go” and “Jane Fonda is a whore”, but quickly settled down when Capitol Police threatened the use of water cannons. “Oh, I am so glad it isn’t after Memorial Day,” said one from the wealthy group. “Wet linen is just ghastly.” “Go ahead,” said another. “Make me wet. I’ll throw some of these rocks and spit on you with this here water, sir.” “Fisticuffs,” said a third his long old-fashioned handle bar mustache waiving in the wind. “If that is what it has come to.”

Protests disbanded for afternoon tea, but were planned to continue the following day after morning croquet.